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What gets me happy? The freedom, mate! No suits, no “synergy” chats—escorts dodge all that rubbish. Me, stuck in Slough, dreaming of Budapest vibes, while they’re out there, owning it. But the stigma? Urgh, boils my blood! Why’s it gotta be taboo? Sex sells—always has! Little fact for ya—Victorian era, right, high-class escorts were called “courtesans”—fancy, eh? Lads like me’d be queuing up, but nah, I’m too busy being “employee of the month.”

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At the bar, it’s packed. I spot my friend, and we start chatting. I’m telling her about the gelato disaster, the proposal, the dog, and the oranges. She’s cracking up! We order some spritzes, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Giro d'Italia 2009: Stage 11 Results