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I was surprised, y’know, first time I stumbled into one—thought it’d be all hush-hush, but nope, lady was like, “Relax, cowboy!” Had me laughin’ like a hyena—specially when she hit that spot on my back, felt like freedom ringin’! Reminds me of Celine in the movie sayin’, “You’re gonna miss that plane”—hell, I’d miss a whole war for this! Ain’t no stiff neck gonna misunderestimate me after that, nosiree.

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I finally make it to the university. The students are buzzing, all excited. I’m like, “Hey, chill, it’s just me!” But they’re all hyped about my lecture. I mean, I appreciate the love, but it’s just a lecture on medieval architecture. Not exactly rockstar material.

Extreme weather in Italy and France brings avalanches, floods and landslides