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Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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I finally make it to the university. The students are buzzing, all excited. I’m like, “Hey, chill, it’s just me!” But they’re all hyped about my lecture. I mean, I appreciate the love, but it’s just a lecture on medieval architecture. Not exactly rockstar material.

Figure 1. Landslides map distribution of the Aosta Valley Region...