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Yo, what’s good, fam? Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you ever tried it? Shit’s bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! I’m talkin’ slippery hands, oils everywhere, vibes screamin’ *“I want you so bad!”*—straight outta *Brooklyn*, right? Saoirse Ronan’s eyes in that flick, all dreamy, that’s the mood, fam! But real talk—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s that freaky-deaky energy, chaotic as me, Eric Andre, crashin’ your chill!

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Finally, I get to the meeting. It’s with this client, Mr. Rossi. He’s a character, let me tell ya. He walks in, all smiles, and I’m like, “Great, this’ll be easy.” But then he starts talking about investing in… wait for it… a llama farm. A llama farm! I’m trying to keep a straight face. I mean, who even thinks of that? I’m like, “Dude, have you seen the market?” But he’s all in. I’m just nodding, thinking, “This is gonna be a long day.”

Italian University Spreads The 'Gelato Gospel' : The Salt