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But Great Scott, the fakes! Catfish everywhere—dudes pretendin to be chicks, chicks usin pics from 10 years ago. Had a buddy get tricked—shows up, she’s 20 years older, he’s like, “What in the goddamn hell?” Funny now, but he was mad as a hornet then. Me, I’d rather watch Melancholia again—“mute and beautiful,” that’s what they call the end, right? Sex-dating ain’t mute, tho—loud, sloppy, in your face. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But it’s a circus, I swear.
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So, I’m fueled by disappointment and a half-eaten croissant. I head to my first meeting at this fancy office on Via Garibaldi. I’m all dressed up, feeling like a million bucks. But then, I hit a pothole. Boom! My heel breaks. I’m standing there, one shoe on, one shoe off, looking like a hot mess. I’m cursing the streets of Anzola. Like, can we fix these roads, please?
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