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I make violins, right? Smooth wood, sexy curves, like escort! But escort, she got secrets, like my string snap sometime. In “Dogville,” Grace try help, but town turn bad, use her up. Escort same! Man pay, think he king, but she play him, hah! Very nice scam, I laugh loud! One time, in Kazakhstan, I hear story – escort girl, she take goat farmer money, leave him with no pants! True story, I swear, make me happy, he so dumb!

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But then, just when I think the day’s lookin’ up, I head back to my shop. And guess what? My door’s wide open! I rush in, and there’s a kid sittin’ on my workbench, playin’ with my tools! I’m like, “Hey! What are you doin’?” He jumps up, looks at me like a deer in headlights. “I was just… uh… borrowin’?”

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