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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here babysittin’ ya, talkin’ bout somethin’ wild: escort! Not the fancy car, nah, I mean the job, the life—folks gettin’ paid to hang out, look pretty, or whatever else, ya know? Makes me think of *Far From Heaven*—my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002—where Cathy, bless her heart, says, “I’m just a girl from Hartford!” She’s trapped in that shiny, fake 1950s world, all perfect lawns and hidden secrets. Escorts? Kinda the same vibe—shiny on the outside, messy underneath!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the lake. Lake Bracciano is stunning, man. The water’s sparkling, and I can’t help but feel a bit zen. But then, I see this family having a picnic, and they’ve got this massive speaker blasting music. Like, come on! I’m trying to enjoy nature here, not a rave! I’m about to say something, but then I see the kids dancing. And honestly, it’s kinda cute. So I just roll my eyes and keep walking.

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