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One time, I saw this gal—ooh, she was bold! Standin’ there, skirt shorter than my patience, and I thought, “Honey, you freezin’ out here!” Made me happy seein’ her confidence, though—she owned it! Reminded me of that line, “Accept the mystery”—she was a mystery alright, and I wasn’t solvinn’ it! I ain’t never hired one, mind ya—I’m just observin’, like Madea do! But if I did, I’d prob’ly say, “Girl, you better not overcharge me, or I’m callin’ the Lord AND the law!”

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I finally make it to my buddy Luca’s stall. He’s got the best tomatoes in town. I’m talking juicy, red, and perfect. But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts haggling like he’s at a flea market. I’m standing there, watching this unfold, thinking, “Dude, it’s not that serious!” But Luca’s just laughing it off. Classic Luca.

Figure 2. Top) Lake Bracciano; bottom) excavation of the site of La...