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But then—bam!—I’m pissed. Why’s every game gotta be so sleazy? I mean, prostitutes? C’mon! Can’t we just brood in peace like Eve does? “Survival is a gangbang,” she says—ha! Maybe that’s the tagline, who knows? I’m typin’ fast, hands shakin’, typos galore—probaly, definately, hookerz. Whatever, you get it! Point is, I’m designin’ this, and it’s gotta feel real. Did ya know Jarmusch shot that flick with no rehearsals? Raw as hell—just like this game’s gonna be. No polish, just vibes.

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Next, I hit up Via delle Rimembranze. It’s a beautiful street, lined with those old-school houses. I love the vibe here. But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this couple walks by. They just stare at me like I’m some kind of circus act. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Really? No one’s gonna help?”

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