Ella Andreotta Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—hands all over, rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a rockstar, y’know? Like in my fave movie, *Almost Famous*— “It’s all happening!”—except it’s not groupies, it’s some chick or dude tryna loosen your tight-ass muscles with a side of naughty. I mean, who doesn’t want that, right? Gets me all happy, like when Penny Lane says, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously!”—but damn, I take this shit serious!

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So, I sit on a bench, trying to chill. I pull out my sketchbook, doodling some fish ideas. Suddenly, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” The little thief just flies off, and I’m left there, sandwich-less and grumpy.

On Giorgio Andreotta Calò’s Primordial, Totemic Forms