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About Catania

Aight, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale, but erotic-massage? We hates it! Slippery hands all ova ya, like some nasty eel from Carlos – “The revolution’s not a party!” – yeah, no kiddin’, mate! Ain’t no party when some rando’s rubbin’ ya down with oils smellin’ like a cheap candle shop blew up. Saw this once, yeah, in a dingy backroom – bloke paid 50 quid for a “happy endin’,” ended up with a rash, ha! We laughed, precious, laughed ‘til me ribs hurt.

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I am a skilled tantric masseur, as well as an established psychologist. come and try the real yoni tantra. (+39)

But then, I get to the top, and it’s windy as heck! I’m holding onto my hat for dear life. I’m like, “This is not a scene from a rom-com, it’s a horror movie!” I snap a few pics, but my hair’s a mess. Whatever, I’m not a model.

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