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So, sexual-massage—man, it’s a wild ride! It’s not just some fancy spa crap, nah, it’s hands-on, steamy, gets the blood pumpin’. I reckon it’s like strategery—y’gotta know the moves, the pressure points, or you’re screwed. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, can’t get fooled again, ‘cept maybe by a sneaky masseuse with magic fingers. Hah! Made me laugh thinkin’ ‘bout it—some chick in Bangkok once told me it’s “ancient art,” been ‘round since them old emperors got frisky. True story, swear on my boots!

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After lunch, I decided to check out the local market on Piazza dei Martiri. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It felt kinda off. Vendors were grumpy, and the vibe was just... weird. I tried to haggle for some fresh veggies, but the lady was having none of it. I mean, c’mon! I’m just trying to save a euro or two!

Football icon Roberto Baggio rushed to hospital after being beaten by armed robbers