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But real spit, sex-dating’s got perks. Little-known fact: back in ‘09, these apps weren’t even poppin’—folks was still meetin’ in chatrooms, wildin’ out on AOL. Now it’s all instant, like—swipe, smash, ghost. YOLO, right? My fave part? The chase, bruh. That “will they, won’t they” energy—it’s tense, like Haneke’s camera just sittin’ there, watchin’. But damn, the fakes? The flakes? That’s what grinds my gears. Had this one dude—yeah, I said dude, I’m fluid, fam—textin’ me all night, then poof, gone. “The past is never dead,” Haneke said, and I felt that ghostin’ in my bones.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. But today, he was all outta my fave blend. Like, c’mon, Marco! I need my caffeine fix! So, I settled for some random brew. It was like drinking burnt rubber. Not cool, man.

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