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Oi, mateys! Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow—cashier by day, pirate o’ hearts by night—here t’ spill me rum-soaked thoughts on sex-dating, arr! Slurred wit, savvy? Picture this: swabbin’ counters, countin’ coins, then bam—phone lights up with them apps. Sex-dating, aye, it’s a stormy sea o’ lust! Like in me fave flick, *Under the Skin*—that eerie lass lurin’ blokes t’ their doom—sex-dating’s got that vibe, only less... alien goo, more awkward chats.

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Then, I saw this street performer. He was playing the accordion, and honestly, it was kinda magical. I stood there, lost in the music, forgetting all the craziness of the day. For a moment, everything felt right. But then, some guy walked by and knocked over the performer’s hat. Ugh! Why can’t people just be decent?

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