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Me, I’d suck at it—too nosy! I’d be all, “Whatcha doin’ later?”—crickets. Hmm… sex-dating’s fast, fun, messy—like Homer’s chili! But it ain’t me. I’d rather bake cookies than swipe booties! Still, ya do you—just don’t get burned! Like in the movie, “It’s done, it’s over”—hope yer sex-date don’t end that bleak!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude walks in, all decked out in a suit. Like, who wears a suit in a coffee shop? Anyway, he spills his drink all over the counter. Classic. I’m just trying to enjoy my morning, and now I’m watching this guy mop up his mess. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Three Killed During an Exorcism in Italy: The Rise and Fall of an Invented “Cult”