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Alright, listen up, you degenerate—sex-dating? It’s a freaking mess! Everybody lies, right? Swiping left, right, like it’s a game. “I’m 6’2, honest!”—bullshit, they’re 5’8 tops. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—digital meat markets. People picking partners like Varda’s gleaners snatch potatoes. “I pick up what’s left,” she says. Same vibe, but hornier.
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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up a gelato place on Via Nazionale. I’m talking the best gelato ever. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? He’s like, “We’re out of pistachio.” I’m like, “What?!” So, I settle for chocolate. Not the same, but whatever.
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