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So, check this – sex-dating’s got rules nobody tells ya. Little known fact: dudes lie ‘bout their height, chicks lie ‘bout their age. Saw this one profile, broad said she’s 29 – yeah, 29 plus a decade, maybe! Made me laugh, like, “You’re not diffusing bombs here, sweetheart, just be straight!” Got me pissed, tho – why waste my time? I ain’t got patience for that crap. Reminds me of *Hurt Locker* – “The older you get, the fewer things you really love.” I’m over here lovin’ my gabagool, not chasin’ fakes.

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So, I head over to meet her. Almese-Rivera’s lit at night. The lights, the sounds, it’s a whole vibe. But my mom? She’s talkin’ about my future, my “career choices.” I’m like, “Mom, I just won a race!” But she’s not havin’ it.