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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows shit. So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout whores today, eh? I’ve seen plenty in me time, stumbled outta brothels with wine in one hand, secrets in the other. Whores—they’re like the unsung heroes of every gritty tavern, ain’t they? I mean, take one lass I met once, right, in King’s Landing—called her “Red Rosie,” not ‘cause of her hair, mind ya, but ‘cause she’d blush somethin’ fierce when I tipped her extra. Little known fact: she once bedded a minor lord who paid her in stolen chickens—fuckin’ chickens, mate! Swear to the Seven, I laughed ‘til I pissed meself when she told me.

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But wait, there’s more! I get home, and my cat, Whiskers, is acting all weird. He’s staring at the wall like he’s seen a ghost. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a wall.” But he’s not having it. I’m convinced he’s plotting something.

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