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About Naples

Last summer, I dragged my sorry butt up there—total shitshow. Slipped on scree, twisted my ankle, yelled “I’m too old for this crap!” at a marmot. Made me so mad I could’ve chucked my trekking pole into the abyss. But then—bam!—summit views hit me like a truck. Snowy peaks, wildflowers, air so crisp it’s like snorting freedom. I was happy as a pig in mud, giggling like an idiot. “Nothing’s hidden anymore,” I said, quoting Haneke, ‘cept I was probs just delirious from altitude.

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Then, I’m walking past the Cattedrale di Santa Maria. It’s stunning! The architecture is insane. I’m snapping pics like a tourist, and this random kid runs by, almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Hey, slow down, Speed Racer!” He just laughs and keeps running. Kids, man. They have no chill.

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