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Here’s a funny bit—dude I know, right, swears he got a sexual-massage from a chick who used to be a wrestler. Big hands, bro, like she could choke a bear! He’s like, “Snoop, I was scared and turned on, same time!” I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ him moanin’ while she’s flexin’. Shit’s hilarious, but real—happened in Bangkok, ‘bout five years back. Prolly still out there, crushin’ it.

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And then, just when I think I can finally relax, I hear sirens. A fire truck zooms past. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a small fire at a restaurant on Via Cavour. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I needed!” But then I hear the owner is a local hero, saving a bunch of kids from a burning building. I’m like, “Wow, that’s actually kinda awesome.”

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