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About Turin

I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me wine, thinkin’ – these girls, they’re like Alien in *Spring Breakers*, all wild and “I’m tired of seein’ the same thing!” – unpredictable, mad as a bag of cats. Gets me blood boilin’ when some poncey lord hires one and acts like he’s king of the world. Mate, you paid for it, calm yer tits! Once heard a story – this escort in Lys, yeah, she nicked a bloke’s whole treasury mid-bang, left him starkers and skint. Laughed me arse off, I did – clever bitch, that one. Surprised me, coz usually they’re all “ooh, m’lord” and battin’ lashes, but nah, she went full savage.

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Then, boom! Another call. This time, it’s a lady on Corso Italia. She’s freaking out ‘cause her cat, Micio, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But I send someone anyway. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cat rescue, right?

8th July – 10 September 2006