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About Palermo

Sex-dating’s a freakin’ jungle, fam! You got Tinder, Bumble, freaky lil’ FetLife if you nasty—tons of options, right? Little known fact: back in ‘09, Grindr kicked off this geo-hook-up craze—changed the game, no cap. Now everybody’s out here tryna smash or catch feels, and I’m like, “Yo, can you keep up?” It’s fast, it’s raw, like me in the ring—*“I must break you!”*—but sometimes I’m just scrollin’, judgin’ blurry pics like, “Bruh, you serious?”

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So, I pop in, right? And the barista, this dude with a massive beard, takes forever. I mean, I could’ve brewed my own coffee in the time he took. Finally, I get my espresso, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good again. But then, I spill it all over my lab coat! Seriously?! I looked like I’d been attacked by a caffeinated octopus.

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