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I tried it once, ya, don’t judge me! Da masseuse, she’s all “relax, darlink,” and I’m like, “Vhat is dis sorcery?!” Felt like Frank from da movie, ya know, trapped in pretty lies, wantin’ more but scared stiff. “I can’t escape this feeling,” I mutter, like in da film – so dramatic, me likey! Hands all ova, slidin’, teasin’ – it’s naughty but nice, ya feel me? Got me happy, den angry – why ain’t dis everywhere, huh?! World’s too uptight, grr!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to us. She’s got this fierce look, and I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” She starts lecturing us about respect and how we should behave. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. I mean, she’s right, but c’mon! We’re just having fun!

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