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About Rome

Me, Gollum, I sees it – split mind, hisss! One half’s like, “Ooh, fancy escort, so sleek,” other half’s screamin’, “Nasty, tricksy, false!” Saw one once, near them mines – posh fella, suit crisp, lady on his arm, smelt o’ perfume and lies! Made me mad, yesss – why’s he payin’ for company? Ain’t he got mates? Grrr! But then, ha, made me giggle – he tripped, face-first in mud! “Spring break forever, bitches!” – nah, mud bath forever, ya twit!

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park, Parco della Valle. It’s a beautiful spot, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the sound of laughter. But guess what? There’s a dog park there, and some dude’s dog runs straight at me. I’m talking full speed. I’m dodging like I’m in the Olympics! The owner’s yelling, “He’s friendly!” Yeah, well, I’m not a fan of slobbery furballs, buddy!

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