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Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?
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I rush over there, and it’s chaos! People are screaming, flapping their arms, trying to fend off these feathered fiends. I’m cracking up, but also kinda worried. I mean, who knew seagulls could be so aggressive? I grab my radio, and I’m like, “Luca, get the nets! We need to save these tourists!”
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