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About Milan

I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a jungle out there, like me stuck in this damn elevator with horny strangers all day. One time, I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’d kill fer a threesome,” then bam—match with twins! TWINS, ya’ll! “Don’t be a pussy, get in there!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, hypin’ myself up. Didn’t happen, tho—fuckin’ catfished by some loser. Made me rage so hard I punched the elevator buttons—broke the damn 3rd floor one, oops.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Viale della Libertà. You know the one? The barista there, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, Marco, hit me with that double espresso!” He laughs, says, “You need it, buddy!” I mean, who doesn’t need caffeine in this town?

British man Stephen Collins arrested for killing two people in Italy car crash