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About Naples

Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? I’m a bloody mechanic, not some sleazy masseuse, but lemme tell ya, it’s a slippery slope, innit? Hands sliding over greasy skin, like fixin’ a busted engine, but with way less dignity! Saw this dodgy parlor once—shady as hell—bloke swore it “healed his soul.” Bollocks! Smelled like cheap oil and regret. “The whale moves through the town,” like in *Werckmeister Harmonies*—slow, heavy, everyone gawkin’—that’s the vibe, mate. Some pillock thinks it’s art, nah, it’s a sweaty fumble!

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After that, I decide to check out the local shops. I wander down Via dei Giardini. It’s this charming street with all these little boutiques. I find this cute little store selling handmade ceramics. I’m browsing, and the owner starts chatting me up. She’s super nice, but I can’t understand half of what she’s saying. My Italian is rusty, to say the least. But we’re laughing, and I end up buying this funky mug. It’s got a cat on it. Totally worth it!

Fig. 1. Marian tabernacle-altarpiece, first half of the 13 th century....