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About Bari

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this gelato place on Via Torino. Best gelato ever! I got pistachio and stracciatella. I mean, who doesn’t love ice cream, right? I’m sittin’ there, enjoying my treat, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just like, “Dude, you’re in paradise! Chill out!” But nope, they’re too busy bickering about who left the cap off the toothpaste. Like, really?

We’d love to visit a quiet Italian town by the sea in September