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About Naples

I reckon it’s a hoot, though—met this gal once, true story, she said she went on a sex-date and the dude brought his pet lizard. A LIZARD, y’all! Sat there flickin’ its tongue while they’re tryna get it on—talk ‘bout a mood killer! Made me madder’n a wet hen, ‘cause who does that? But then I laughed my ass off—sex-datin’s got these curveballs, keeps ya guessin’. Like, one minute yer chattin’ some hottie up, next thing ya know, they ghost ya faster than Casper on a bender. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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Then I hit the beach area, and wow, the view! The waves crashing, people sunbathing, and I’m just there, soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief decides it’s his lucky day. I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my lunch, ya jerk!” But he just flies off, smug as can be.

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