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So sex-dating, huh? It’s all about quick hookups, no strings, bam-bam-thank-you-ma’am vibes. Swipe right, meet up, get it on—boom! I’m talkin’ apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—scrollin’ thirst traps at 2 a.m., hopin’ for a score. How you doin’? Works better in person, trust me, but online? Psh, it’s a jungle! You got catfishes, ghosters, and dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Bro, I saw one profile—girl said she’s “into yoga and choking.” I’m like, what?! Downward dog or *downward gone*? Made me laugh so hard I spit my beer.

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So, I’m rollin’ down Via Dante Alighieri, right? The sun’s shining, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” But nah, life had other plans. I’m just mindin’ my own business when I see this dude on a scooter. He’s zippin’ around like he owns the place. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s not a racetrack! Almost took me out! I was like, “Hey, watch it, Valentino Rossi!”

Video – Alassio dove mangiare bene spendendo poco