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About Bari

Humor? Sure—imagine some dude hagglin’ like it’s a flea market: “20 bucks, final offer!” She’d laugh in his face, “Boy, this ain’t Goodwill!” Sarcasm’s my jam—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science, but it’s a gamble, and I’m bettin’ you’ll lose your shirt. Personal quirk? I’d probly overthink it, like, “Is she judgin’ me? Am I judgin’ her?”—then I’d trip over my own feet, classic me.

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So, I’m rollin’ down Via Dante Alighieri, right? The sun’s shining, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” But nah, life had other plans. I’m just mindin’ my own business when I see this dude on a scooter. He’s zippin’ around like he owns the place. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s not a racetrack! Almost took me out! I was like, “Hey, watch it, Valentino Rossi!”

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