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Brother, lemme tell ya bout escort, man! I’m hulkin’ up thinkin’ bout it—escort’s wild, dude! Like, not the car, nah, I mean the job, ya know, the “company for hire” gig. Watched *Brokeback Mountain* million times, brother, and it hits me— “I wish I knew how to quit you” vibes, but with escort life, ya dig? Some folks out there, they’re lonely, need a pal, and bam—escort’s there, flexin’ charm like I flex biceps!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little spot on Via dei Fiori. The pasta? To die for! I mean, I could swim in that marinara sauce. But then, I see this pigeon. Yeah, a pigeon. It swoops down and steals a piece of my focaccia! I’m like, “Really, dude? You gotta be kidding me!” I chase it down the street, flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring, and I’m just thinking, “This is my life now.”

Ewan McGregor starrer 'Mother, Couch,' Oona Airola win at Goteborg