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But—here’s wot gets me blood boilin’—some prudes call it dirty! Dirty? It’s art, ye bilge rats! Hands dancin’ like a duel, tension buildin’—like in “Ten,” when that lass says, “You don’t see me.” Aye, ye don’t *see* the magic ‘til it hits ye! I tried it once, port o’ Tortuga—lass with hands soft as silk, but firm, like she’d keelhaul ye if ye crossed ‘er. Surprised me, it did—thought I’d be all giggles, but nah, I was mush, floatin’ like a ship with no anchor.

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Later, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park by the river, you know, the one near Ponte di Airola. It’s beautiful there, with the trees and the water. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, this kid runs by, and I swear he’s got a water balloon. Next thing I know, SPLASH! I’m soaked! I’m laughing, but also like, “Why me?”

Well-traveled deputy lands in Nixon