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About Naples

So, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee—black, no sugar, ‘cause I’m classy like that—and I’m like, brothels, they’re a whole mood. Reminds me of *The Great Beauty*, that flick I’m obsessed with. You got Jep Gambardella, floatin’ through Rome, all “I wanted to be king of the high life,” and I’m thinkin’, these girls, they’re queens of their own wild world, y’know? Hustlin’, struttin’, makin’ it work. But ugh, the creeps they deal with—makes my skin crawl! Like, who raised these schmucks?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knockin’ over a whole stand of oranges. It’s like a citrus explosion! I’m laughin’ so hard, but the vendor? Not so much. He’s yellin’ in Italian, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to get involved.

Is this the best pizzeria in Italy?