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Alright, y’all, gather ‘round! I’m Dr. Phil, your ol’ elevator operator, southern drawl and all, here to spill the beans on sex escorts. Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody—live and let live, right? But lemme tell ya, this world’s wilder than a hog on moonshine! I seen it all, ridin’ these elevators, folks sneakin’ off to meet escorts, thinkin’ they’re slick. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Hidin’ in plain sight, like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence*—quiet life one minute, dark secrets the next.

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So, I sneak a peek at my phone. He sends me a video of a pigeon stealing a sandwich from some poor guy on Via Vittorio Emanuele. I’m crackin’ up! Like, who knew pigeons had such guts? I mean, I’ve seen some crazy stuff in Agrate-Brianza, but that takes the cake!

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