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About Bari

Oi mate, right, so I’m a biochemist, yeah? Proper brainbox, me. Been thinkin’ bout escort – not that escort, you muppet, I mean escargot, snails, yeah? Slippery little buggers! So, check this, I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *Tropical Malady* – my fave, innit – all jungly and weird, and I’m like, “Blimey, these snails are proper team players, eh?” Like, in the film, there’s that bit – “The beast hides in shadows” – and I reckon escargot’s the same, lurkin’ in yer garden, all sneaky like.

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about your clients.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Agira, living my best life!” But no, he wants to discuss my “professional orientation” or whatever. I’m like, “Can’t we do this later?” But he’s persistent. So, I’m trying to focus on the accordion while he’s rambling about spreadsheets. Talk about a mood killer.

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