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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly! Sweet lordy, talkin’ bout erotic-massage—woo-wee! I reckon it’s like a hot Tennessee night, all steamy an’ wild. Picture this: hands slidin’ over ya, oil slicker’n a pig in mud. Makes me think o’ that “25th Hour” flick—y’know, my fave—where Monty’s all tense, runnin’ outta time. “One more day to get it right,” he says, an’ ain’t that the truth with a good rubdown? Ya gotta find that perfect spot ‘fore the clock ticks out!

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After that, I decide to hit up Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s a cute street, full of shops and stuff. I’m browsing, and I see this little bakery. The smell? OMG. I can’t resist. I grab a cannoli, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy little ball of joy. I bend down to pet him, and he just jumps on me! Like, chill, buddy! I’m not your personal trampoline!

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