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I get pissed, ya, when I hear pimps messin’ wit ‘em! Makes me wanna go Terminator on ‘em—BAM! “I’ll be back” to crush dose scumbags! Dey’re strong, dese ladies, stronger den me liftin’ 300 pounds, I swear. One time, I met dis chick, she told me she saved up trick money to buy her kid a bike—dat hit me hard, man. Happy tears, ya, I was like, “You’re da real champ!” She was all shy, but I could see dat fire in her.

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Finally, I get it sorted. But then, outta nowhere, a cow decides it’s time to kick up a fuss. I mean, come on! I’m just tryin’ to do my job here! It’s like she knows I’m stressed. She’s mooing like she’s auditioning for a musical. I’m laughing and yelling at her, “Lady, chill! We’re in this together!”

Woman’s bag said “Definitely Not A Bag Full Of Drugs” (It Was)