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Gets me ragin’, tho – blokes lyin’ about their height. Mate, I’m 5’6” and proud, don’t need your “6’2” bullshit. Stupid, fat hobbit! Had this one date, girl shows up, smells like cheap perfume, talks over me. Nearly chucked me pint at her, but nah, I’m a gent. Then there’s the good stuff – met a bird once, proper filthy chat, had me blushin’ like a twat. “Life’s a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say – well, that night was the main act, precious!
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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a little shop on Via Roma, and the owner, this sweet old lady, hands me a towel. “You look like a drowned rat!” she laughs. I’m like, “Thanks, I needed that.”
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