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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prude! This lass, hands like silk, worked me knots out ‘til I forgot me own name. Happy? Bloody ecstatic! Felt like I could conquer Midgard *and* Wall Street. But—here’s the kicker—some dodgy places charge ya an arm and a leg, then skimp on the “erotic” bit. Pissed me off, that did! False advertisin’, like a stock tip from a drunk uncle. “You stand there, you dig?”—like Saul’s chaos, ya never know what’s real ‘til it’s too late.

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I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shining, and I stroll down to the Parco delle Terme. It’s beautiful there! The trees, the fountains, the vibe. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Is this a rom-com or a horror movie?” 😂

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