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About Turin

Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild, real wild. Like, you’re layin’ there, oil everywhere, some chick’s hands all ova ya, and I’m thinkin’, “I drink your milkshake!” – yeah, straight outta *There Will Be Blood*. That flick’s my jam, all that greed and madness, fuckin’ Daniel Day-Lewis screamin’ bout drainage – it’s like life, y’know? Sexual-massage got that same vibe, power trippin’ under the skin.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that strong espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, grandpa, I get it.” But honestly, he was kinda funny. Told me about the time he chased a goat down Via Cavour. I mean, who chases goats?

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