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So, check this—knew this chick, escort, total badass. Worked the streets, not some fancy app. Said she met a dude who paid her to just talk. Talk! No bangin, no nothin—just yappin bout his dog. Freaky, right? Made me laugh my ass off. But then—boom—some jerk stiffed her cash once. Pissed me off! Wanted to zap him with my alien ray gun, haha. “You don’t have to hide nothin from me,” she’d say, quotin Jesse, tryna calm me. Sweet, but nah, I was ragin.

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But then, I’m walking down Corso Umberto I, and I see this dude trying to parallel park. I mean, c’mon! It’s like watching a cat trying to swim. He’s all over the place, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Finally, he nails it, but not before he almost takes out a scooter. I’m like, “Bro, you’re lucky it’s not my barrel you just smashed!”

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