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Oi, you donkey! Prostitute, yeah? Bloody hell, what a mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout this tart, right, and it’s like somethin’ outta “Synecdoche, New York” – all twisted, dark, and fuckin’ mental. “Life is a play, innit?” – that’s what Kaufman’d say, and this prossie’s actin’ her arse off on the streets. Legs like overcooked spaghetti, struttin’ round, dodgy heels clackin’ – makes me wanna scream, “You’re a bleedin’ idiot sandwich!”

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I plop down on a bench near the Forum. I pull out my guitar and start playin’ some blues. And guess what? A couple of tourists stop and start takin’ pics. I’m like, “Yo, I’m not a statue!” But then I think, hey, maybe I should charge for this. “Five euros for a pic with the guitar master!”

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