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So, this site—dodgy as a wet ladder—promises “discreet company,” yeah? Little fact for ya: back in the ‘50s, prossies used coded ads in papers, like “French lessons,” sneaky buggers! Made me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em with berets, heh. But this online gig? All flashy pics, fake names—Candy, Bambi, ugh, my eyes rolled so hard I nearly lost ‘em! *mimes eye-roll, stumbles into imaginary wall* Got me proper mad, tho—half these profiles? Bots! Clicked one, got a virus scare, me laptop screamin’ like a siren, waaah! Hated that, mate, pure panic.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Via Roma, and I swear, the cobblestones are out to get me. I trip over one, spill my coffee all over my favorite apron. Ugh! It’s like the universe is saying, “Hey, you’re a potter, not a barista!” I’m fuming, but whatever, I brush it off.

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