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But the movie vibe—man, escorts got that double-life thing down. Like Tom Stall in “A History of Violence,” all quiet and sweet, then—wham!—dark side’s out. Escorts play the game, too. Smilin’ at dinner, then dodgin’ cops later. I’m in awe! I’d suck at it—too neurotic. I’d be like, “Am I late? Is this legal? My tie’s crooked!” They’re pros, though—calm under pressure. Pretty, pretty good.

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So, I rush over to the clinic. I’m dodging tourists like I’m in some weird game of Frogger. Seriously, these folks don’t know how to walk! I’m like, “Excuse me, coming through!” Finally, I get to the clinic, and it’s chaos. I mean, people everywhere, like it’s a sale at the local market.

The Padua Regional Conference