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What gets me goat, tho? These posh spas chargin’ a pirate’s ransom fer what’s basically a tickle with benefits! Fifty quid fer an hour o’ “ooh, that’s the spot”? I’d rather wrestle a kraken, aye! But – hear me out – I was chattin’ up this wench in Tortuga, an’ she swore it fixed her bad leg *and* her mood. Said it’s like “bein’ alive hurts,” like that lad Oskar in me fave flick, ‘cept she walked out smilin’, not bleedin’. Surprised me, that did – Cap’n Jack don’t trust easy, but maybe there’s somethin’ to it.

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Experience conscious touch in a tantra massage and learn authentic tantric wisdom in our initiations in the Tantra Temple in Reykjavík, Iceland.

As the day winds down, I head to the Sun Voyager. It’s this cool sculpture that looks like a Viking ship. The sunset is insane. I’m talking about colors that don’t even exist in the real world. I’m feeling all the feels. Like, how did I get so lucky to be here?

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