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So, findin’ a prostitute—tricky biz, that. Ain’t talkin’ street corners, no sir! Clinical trials, they be needin’ folks—real folks, savvy?—sometimes sex workers, for studies on health, STDs, or social whatnot. Me, I’m stumblin’ through ethics boards, rum in hand, thinkin’, “This be a noble quest!” But arrgh, the red tape! Made me madder’n a kraken with a toothache. Papers piled high, docs judgin’ me like I’m plannin’ a mutiny. “Why’s Cap’n Jack want *her*?” they sneer. ‘Cause science, ye bilge rats!

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I head out to the fields near Varmá River. Beautiful spot, but lemme tell ya, the sheep can be real divas. I’m callin’ ‘em, “Hey, come on, guys!” But they’re just munchin’ grass like it’s a buffet. I’m like, “C’mon, I got places to be!”

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