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So, sexual-massage—fancy term for gettin’ frisky with lotion. Ain’t just a backrub, nah, it’s all ‘bout the naughty bits. Hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, tension buildin’ like a bear trap ready to snap. I hate it. Too much gigglin’ and moanin’—gimme silence and a steak instead. But folks swear it’s “relaxin’,” like that’s a real excuse. Buncha perverts, if ya ask me.
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I’m walkin’ down the street, and I swear, I see more tourists than locals. They’re all takin’ pics of the statue of the famous guy, you know, the one with the beard? Yeah, that dude. I’m like, “Hey, I got a beard too!” But no one cares. Whatever.
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