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Thing is, it’s messy, man. Ya think it’s all sexy and fun, but nah – it’s sad, too. Got me feelin’ weird, like when Winfried sings that whacky song and ya don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d tell ya, buddy, if yer lookin’ to “find a prostitute,” maybe chill. Ain’t worth the hassle. Go watch “Toni Erdmann” instead – way more bang for yer buck, no shady vibes. “Mmm… donuts,” that’s my therapy right there!

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Then, I head over to the local park, which is basically a slice of heaven. I plop down on a bench, and this old man starts chatting me up. He’s telling me stories about the town, and I’m just nodding along, pretending I’m not secretly Googling “Egilsstadir history” in my head. He’s got this wild beard and a twinkle in his eye. I swear, he’s seen some things.

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