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But gods, when it works? Happy as a dwarf in a whorehouse. Met this lass once—fiery redhead, sex-dating pro. She says, “Tyrion, it’s like fishing—cast wide, catch somethin’.” We shagged, laughed, parted ways—no “I can’t quit you” bollocks. Pure, simple, done. Then there’s the horror stories—catfishers with dicks for brains. Mate of mine got a pic of some hairy arse instead of a face. Laughed ‘til I choked on me wine. “A man’s gotta have standards,” I told him.

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Then, I wandered over to the old lighthouse. It’s like a postcard come to life. I snapped a pic, but my phone died. Seriously? I was like, “Why today of all days?” So, I just stood there, staring at the ocean, feeling all philosophical. Like, what’s the meaning of life? Is it fish? Or pancakes?

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